2007   OCTOBER 25   #298

Cheese Alfred Pickles Spam: The Worst of Einstein's Creation

01 Are You Blind?!! (2:24)
02 Bacon Bits (1:57)
03 Robert, Oh! Robert (1:36)
04 The Beautiful Birds (Come Here, Bird!) (2:02)
05 Touch That Skunk Bubba (2:10)
06 Who's Albert (1:44)
07 Denny's A Bad Man (2:01)
08 A Smiling Pinata (3:06)
09 Albert Is Not A Tailor (2:56)
10 Nazi Dixieland (3:32)
11 Mushroom Girl (3:37)
12 Don't Touch The Donuts (1:14)
13 Ode To The Brown Cow (3:35)
14 Richard The Dentist (4:02)
15 The Toothpaste Polka (2:40)
16 Meditate And Paint (3:04)
17 Puberty Is Fun When You're 4 (3:01)

Einstein's Creation is a bizarre oddity that defies description. It was originally conceived as a way to study for a high school English test on the book, To Kill A Mockingbird. That was the 1st song, recorded on a cheap boombox in a Highland, Indiana basement in 1992 by two freshman teenagers that didn't play sports or pick up chicks. Comprising of three key members, EC composed scatterbrained, random absurdist songs that could only come from the deep, dark never-regions of the subconscious. The lyrics are nonsensical, obnoxiously repeated and relentlessly perverted; the stuff that nightmares are made of. Yet, they struck a chord with a lot of laugh-hungry teens at Highland High craving "unlistenably bad" tracks that became the Ed Wood of home recordings. Cassettes were passed around and copied. Eventually they were distributed at flea markets, Goodwill thrift stores, and even left on park benches and bookstore shelves. As social pariahs weened off of Monty Python, Weird Al, Second City records, and, ummm, Ween, EC attempted to become as surreal as possible. They created characters and consistently referenced spam, cheese, pickles, and some guy named Alfred. It encapsulates carefree, immature youth at its very core but also uncovering potentially disturbed young minds. Don't even discuss the time that a lyric sheet was discovered by a teacher, and his reaction to what he was reading. Guidance counselors couldn't make heads or tails of it. Hearing these songs, you might get an impression that even Wesley Willis was inspired by EC considering the recurring pre-programmed Yahama keyboards.

There is an essential collection floating about on the net that has bits and pieces of EC at its very worst. Included are samples from that digital monstrosity. Appropriately titled, Cheese Alfred Pickles Spam: The Worst of Einsteins Creation, EC has to be heard to be believed. You may laugh, cringe, or simply just want to turn it off... but there's no denying that there was at least a modicum of "creativity" spewing about in the minds of bored suburban kids who wanted to scream and be as stupid as possible. They just wanted to make themselves and their friends laugh, but what it does for others, is probably a whole other story.

Einstein's Creation continues to record as adults (!) sporadically and can be found at: myspace.com/einsteinscreation

- Contributed by: James Eric

Images: Cassette Cover, Einsteins Creation

Media: Cassette
Date: 1992